When Italians visit the UK, one of the first cultural differences they notice is how differently politeness is expressed. While both British and Italian cultures value good manners, they have opposite approaches to communication.
1. Indirect vs. Direct Communication
The British are famous for their understated and indirect way of speaking. Italians, on the other hand, prefer directness and clarity. Let’s compare:
| Situation | British Response 🇬🇧 | Italian Response 🇮🇹 |
|---|---|---|
| Asking for a favour | “Would you mind helping me if you have a moment?” | “Mi aiuti!” (Help me!) |
| Refusing an invitation | “Oh, that sounds lovely, but I might have plans…” | “No, non posso.” (No, I can’t.) |
| Complaining about food | “I’m terribly sorry, but I think there might be a slight issue with my meal.” | “Questo è immangiabile! Cambiamelo subito!” (This is inedible! Change it now!) |
| Disagreeing with someone | “That’s an interesting idea…” | “Non sono d’accordo.” (I don’t agree.) |
The British avoid confrontation and prefer to soften their speech. Italians say exactly what they think—and expect others to do the same!
2. The Art of Saying Sorry
In the UK, “sorry” is everywhere—even when it’s not necessary!
Someone bumps into a Brit? “Oh, sorry!”
A Brit interrupts someone? “Sorry, can I just say…”
A Brit disagrees? “Sorry, but I think it might not be exactly like that…”
In Italy, apologies are used only when truly needed. Italians would say “Scusa” or “Mi dispiace” when they really feel sorry—not just as a habit.
Fun Exercise: Try spending a whole day without saying “sorry” like a Brit—or without being too direct like an Italian!
3. British vs. Italian Body Language
Politeness isn’t just about words—it’s also about body language.
British: Minimal gestures, controlled expressions. A polite smile and a nod are enough.
Italian: Expressive hands, big facial reactions, passionate tone. Gestures often replace words!
Try This: The Acting Challenge!
Act out an argument British-style (calm, indirect, lots of “sorry”).
Then act it out Italian-style (dramatic, emotional, big gestures).
Which one feels more natural to you?
4. Tea vs. Espresso: The Politeness Ritual
Drinking tea in Britain is not just about the drink—it’s a social ritual with polite conversation and slow sipping. Italians, in contrast, drink espresso quickly, standing up, often accompanied by lively discussion.
Tea vs. Espresso Challenge
Try ordering tea in a British way (“Could I possibly have a cup of tea, please?”).
Then order espresso Italian-style (“Un caffè!”—short and confident!).
5. British vs. Italian Humour
Even humour reflects politeness!
British humour: Dry, sarcastic, full of understatement.
Italian humour: Loud, expressive, and playful.
Example:
British: “Well, that didn’t go exactly to plan…” (after a disaster)
Italian: “Che disastro! Mamma mia!” (with big gestures!)
Final Thought: Which Style Suits You?
Some people love British politeness because it feels gentle and respectful. Others prefer Italian directness because it’s clear and honest.
What do you think?
Do you prefer the indirect British style or the straightforward Italian way?
Have you ever experienced a misunderstanding because of cultural differences in politeness?
Drop a comment and let’s discuss! 🇬🇧🇮🇹
Travel in time (a role-play card game)
If you would like to play a role-play game with your students, make a comment below and I’ll send you the game for a group of 8 students. In this game a pair of Italian students travel back in time to Victorian London and have to help Sherlock Holmes with his investigation to find a missing gold pocket watch.
